April 19, 2011

The Cheapest Beer Money Can Buy and Rancho Bravo's Genius

This is just a real quickie for you.  I am now officially "Ballin' on a Budget" like Nappy Roots and don't have money to spend on lavish dinners (at least until I find a job).  So as a segway piece, here is a quick investigation in to my current cheap eats life-style.

If there is one thing Capitol Hillians... most American 20 somethings love, it's cheap beer.  And there is no beer, LITERALLY, in all of the liquor ass taxed state of WA than the one an only Big Flats... a Wallgreen's brand beer.  AWESOME.  At 2.99 a 6er and 11.49 a case, you literally can't go wrong.
Some DB yelled for pix in a "private store" sorry this sucks.

Basically, if you drink PBR, Rainier, Hamm's, Genny, and so on an so forth you might as well be saving your change and drinking this shit.  I am not going to lie, I might have woke up with one of the world's worst hang overs (this might be due to the addition of Bourbon, Tea and Lemonade prior to beering it up.)  But, let's be real who has woken up feeling dandy after a mass cheap beer consumption party?  The flavor is something between Pabst and Olympia.  It is sweet, like really sweet, tasting so if you are looking for a Coors Light/Bud Light replacement, look elsewhere because it does have some actual flavor, albeit not tasty. "Big flats?... more like Big Headaches. -Roy"  Save your money, poopy beer is poopy beer.

P.S.  Rancho Bravo has a liquor license application in their window... oh shit son, you know people are going to get that late night munchie and last minute beer here, sorry Poquitos.

March 28, 2011

Are you a Mexi-can or a Mexi-can't?

My neighborhood is hip... hip as a coccyx, I don't care what anyone says Capitol Hill is the backbone and dopest neighborhood in the city.  There has been more business opening in Capitol Hill over the last year than I can keep track of and it appears savvy business owners are well aware of this fact; though they may misjudge their potential clientele.  It's only fitting that the owners of Fonte' and Bastille took a trip out of Seattle's ass-crack and taint to make some REAL DOUGH.   Because of the success of Bastille, I more or less neglected my better judgement telling me that visiting a restaurant on opening day was a bad idea (especially after being on the line of a few restaurants opening days... I'd vote such experiences as one of the main contributors to WA State's sky high suicide numbers.)  Thankfully, I was not disappointed and their first day jitters weren't particularly noticeable.


Poquitos on 10th and Pike, I need more tacos (Jake Vorono)
First and Foremost, the space is gorgeous, a corner location ANY restaurant owner would kill for... if they had the quarter million to invest in renovations.   Hand-laid traditional Mexican tiles dance the Jalisco alongside comfortable wood-booths and a bar fitted elegantly with wrought iron lamp posts.  I posted up at the bar and noticed many hillebrities: one who can be frequently found at various capitol hill locations at any given moment (PROPS TO CAP TO THE HILL),  most likely coming to see if Poquitos was worth christening with their hipness.  Sadly, the on tap beer choices were slightly "womp-womp" but, their bottle list (although it was not printed, nor was the tequila/mezcal list; this was a major let down considering its scope) was extensive and stacked with shit you can only get south of the border.  However upon perusing the menu and chatting with Kevin the super knowledgeable and friendly bar-tender I saw mole tamales and for me there is nothing like a Negra Modelo to wash down the spicy, dark, smoky chocolate flavor of a stellar mole sauce, $5.  


Mole and Chicken Banana Leaf Wrapped Tamale (Jake Vorono)


The tamale came out in a cute and sizzling hot cast iron dish, it instantly made my mouth water and sadly set me up for a bit of a let down.  Everything about the appearance, auditory experience and beer partnership made me want to love this tamale but, I didn't.  I actually wished I was 2 doors down at Rancho Bravo spending half the change on a their meatier and tastier rendition.  I honestly don't think I had any bite that was noticeably chicken.  Furthermore, there is a reason tamales are served wrapped in a vessel, whether steamed of baked the wrapper helps to maintain moisture and flavor (a veritable south of the border sous-vide, if you will).  This tamale came beautifully unwrapped, topped with a stellar sauce and cotija queso... but bone dry.  Even after basting the entire tamale with sauce, there was crusty edge pieces that I'm still picking out of my teeth as I write this.  I would however pay $5 just to drink a glass of the mole, it was velvety, smooth and smoky with JUST enough cocoa flavor to round it out like a fly latina booty.

Tacos Al Pastor, pineapple and onion by Jake Vorono
After my tamale, I was still hungry for more... I actually just wanted to drink more too so I needed a bite to keep me out of black out land.  The homie Chris is a cook at Poquitos, he was also a member of the mass exodus @ 5 Corner Market in Ballard, they don't get a link because they don't deserve it.  Chris pointed me in the direction of the Al Pastor tacos, $8 for 3 tacos covered in Carlton Farms Pork (this is my shit.... mmmmmm), pineapple, caramelized onions and cilantro.  The pork was fantastic, like little bites of crispy bacon but, somehow still juicy and multi-faceted.  They may want to work on uniformity in the size of the meat chunks though, some pieces were pure carcinogenic crispities.  Any detectable fattiness was washed away by the bright acidity of the pineapple and a squeeze of fresh Mexican lime.  I originally thought $8 was a bit wild for tacos but, you do get 3 and the quality is incomparable to most tacos in the city.  Shit, just consider 3 tacos at Tacos Gringos would be $6 and completely unsatisfying.  Side note; if Poquitos forces someone out of business I hope it's them; that place sucks.

Edgar Martinez Autograph on a 1989 Fleer (#552)To wash down the tacos I ordered a Pacifico (although I was served a Sol, oops, no worries still good) and this is when I discovered they had not yet printed their Tequila/Mezcal list (first real day, I can't really bitch).  I especially couldn't bitch about the lack of a physical list because I was lucky enough to be introduced to the owner who knew his shit!  He pointed me towards a Mezcal, El Zacatecano Anejo produced by Seattle's own legend (one of the few reasons I EVER liked Seattle Mariner Baseball) Edgar Martinez.

I must say, I was fearful we had another Barrio moving in to the hood but, Poquitos price point, flavor and ambiance trump Barrio and frankly even might compete with Ranch Bravo for my drunken Capitol Hill munching once they really get rolling.  Poquito's is a welcome addition to a hot hood (even if i does attract some Belltown-eque clientele).  They absolutely Mexi-can make some great food and the space shows they know how to keep guests coming.  

Boner Killers:
  1. The deck is not yet open
  2. No printed drinks list (way too many options to not let me read them)
  3. THEY HALTED LUNCH SERVICE TEMPORARILY




March 21, 2011

This first post has the real potential to leave the audience with figurative blue balls; as my cameras are sans film and sans charged battery.  Forgoing my fears for your testes, I want to get things rolling and introduce you to what I hope will be your new favorite blog.  Thus here's a brief history of myself, why I am doing this and what I want this to grow in to.

First, why the hand and the stomach?  "as distinguished from mere feeding, the stomach never asks the hand, 'What are you giving us?" -Ambrose Bierce
I'm here to give you something to dine on, not feed on.

I was lucky to be born into a military family, why is that lucky?  Because before the age of nine I had visited nearly every (forgettable) state in the US, lived on both coasts, in the South and had made childhood friends from Sea to Shining Sea.  When we finally resettled in the Suicide Capital, without my knowing, I had developed a serious itch to constantly venture out... WAY out from my safe nurturing suburban surroundings.  Upon graduation in 2004, my itch turned in to a full blown rash and college was simply a buffer between home and MORE.

For the next few years I attempted to drown my ever present boredom.  I was changing majors, travelling Europe, dropping academic courses for wine tasting ones, writing for the school magazine, shooting pictures and kicking it in dark rooms.  All the while I was working in kitchens, eating from fine-dining to what-the-fuck-was-that-? dining.  Eventually studying culinary arts at Seattle Culinary Academy in Capitol Hill seemed like the perfect fit.  Little did I know, being a cook is fucking HARD, the industry is generally HEARTLESS,  SLEEPLESSNESS will make you insane and frankly, I don't know if I have the EGO for that shit.

Needless to say the past six-years of my life have been a whirlwind of "I want to do this... or maybe this... ooh and what if I were to... I should totally move here... Maybe I'll go back to this..."  Well this blog is a culmination of my scatter braineded, ADD ridden, hopes/dreams/experiences had and to-be-had in cooking, dining, food, photography, travel and "journalistic" writing (I can't promise you fluff or positive reviews but, I will promise to fact and spell check).  Seattle is still discovering its culinary voice and I feel it needs a story teller.  Enjoy as I craft with my hands something delightful for your rumbling stomach.